Pixels for Jesus

Today we are traveling back to the US. I have my final class next week since the timing is so close to Christmas, we are staying for the whole Holiday season. We are very excited, well to be honest, Katie is very excited. I have my final doctoral class and I always approach it with a healthy sense of trepidation.

When we are home, we are going to see our families. We will celebrate the Holidays with them. When we leave, we will all cry, and miss one another because we know what it means. When we say goodbye this time, it will be for a decent amount of time. For all of our family and friends, they have to accept pixels for Jesus.

This saying refers to our relationship with them and theirs with us, especially Hannah. Over the Thanksgiving holiday break, pixels became very important to us. We spoke with family and saw them through an electronic device with their faces displayed by millions of pixels.

These pixels represent a significant sacrifice and heartache for the parents/grandparents. Since we live in another country, their relationship is relegated to pixels. For them, these pixels are pixels for Jesus.

“And he (Jesus) said to them (his disciples), “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.”” (Luke 18:29–30, ESV)

These pixels that we see of our loved ones are really for Jesus. So as we visit friends and especially family, my heart really goes out to them because this decision is not theirs. It is ours. The pixels were forced on them. It hasn’t been easy but it is necessary. And we are so thankful that we live in a time that pixels are an option. There have been many who have gone before that the saying would have been parchment for Jesus.

What do you do if you are stuck with in a similar predicament? What do you do if your children or your friend is considering missionary service? These answers will come in a post tomorrow. 

Green Pastures

First day of school

We have now finished our first trimester of school! What does this mean? It means we have a small foundation in Spanish. We can get around town and have some basic conversations. If I need something at a store I can ask someone and they can tell me where it is. Or in the case of this last Sunday, I can visit three stores and a fruit stand to find what I need.

After finishing three stores and the fruit stand, I was waiting for the light to change so I could walk across the street. What this actually means is I wait for it to change, then look to see how many people will run a red light, and then I hurry across the street. Each day is like playing Frogger with your life. 

They just installed new lights which give us less time to cross the street and do not change as fast. Needless to say, for us it was not an improvement even if they have nice new green paint!

So there I was, standing at the street corner contemplating my life. Seriously. As I stood there, I began to quote Psalm 23. I began to say the words slowly in my mind. I only made it two verses before I had to stop. Psalm 23:1–2, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” I couldn’t believe what I just said. I said them again and yes, I quoted them correctly. God is my shepherd and Costa Rica is my green pasture.

It is easy to compare and think about life back in the US. We live in a very small apartment with very large furniture. As I type this there is a large poorly framed and stained picture of a horse on my wall. It is awful. For outside space, we have a small sloping carport which leads to a metal gate with less than smooth surfaces. Needless to say, if we aren’t at a park, we are not outside. In such a short time, we have made some great friends here but we have only known them for several months. Here in Costa Rica, we have no family. In the US, I was able to speak freely and be a pastor. In Costa Rica, I speak like a Kindergartner.

Even with all of that and more, Costa Rica is my green pasture. There is the saying, “Grass is always greener on the other side.” If I try to compare this life to my old life I am not living in the truth that God has placed me here and this is my green pasture. I prefer to change the common saying to “The grass is greener where you water it the most.” When we were putting Hannah down tonight, we were going through our normal routine of reading books. As we were reading, I was thinking about writing this post and I realized that my phone has not rung once during bed time routine since we have been here in Costa Rica.

Last day of the first trimester, notice Hannah wearing the same outfit

For us, Costa Rica has really been a greener pasture. It hasn’t been easy. Navigating a new country, new language, new sicknesses, and all of us being in school is hard. Don’t read it with rose colored glasses, it is hard. Don’t read it with dark lenses, it is also great. We struggle to conjugate verbs and have correct grammar but we see parrots on the way to school. I drink AMAZING coffee for cheap.

A final note of the green pastures for us relates to Latin American relationships. By God’s grace, we have been able to form several friendships here. When we meet with our friends, I naturally want to tell them what we are learning and practice but it doesn’t work like that here. When we meet it takes about 15 minutes or so to tell them how about our family and how we are doing. It is very different for me. They really value relationships here. The most important relationship is family. We are able to get quality family time here. There have been many people who have made that possible by partnering with us so to them we say thank you. 

For Sale: One slightly used umbrella

For sale: One umbrella. Location: Costa Rica. Only used twice. May not be useful in normal applications. Cost: $1.00 primarily to remove my shame.

What you see here is a picture on my walk home from school. What you don’t see is the amount of water I had already walked into soaking me to mid-shin. I stayed after for tutoring to catch up from missing some work. When I left there was a downpour. It was like a waterfall. Then the winds picked up. Imagine anti-Mary Poppins. Then imagine picking up a cloth from a bucket of water. The cloth well that was me. My umbrella obviously not functioning at full capacity ensured that I was drenched including all of my school books . Thankfully I was only half way home.

What do you do when your life serves up a thunderstorm and you have a broken umbrella? Let me tell you what I did. I laughed and asked someone to take a picture. Trust me at this point, I could have reacted negatively. I could have gotten mad but really what was the worst part? I was soaked? My backpack was holding water. My school books soaked. My shoes wouldn’t dry for days. In the US, we have a statement, “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” Here in Costa Rica it is, “Don’t cry when water is on the floor.” The saying makes sense especially with our history here. In two months, our ceiling has leaked twice, water came under our door once flooding our living room, and 4 windows leak when we have rain from the east.

A little water isn’t worth crying over. In fact, I think I make a big deal about too many things. I do this mainly because I think too much of this life and too little of heaven. Please don’t misinterpret my reasoning, longing for heaven is good but heaven is good because Jesus is there. If I make Jesus my supreme desire the stuff in this world doesn’t matter near as much.

While this is good about suffering, I’m not a sufferer. I’m a Christian and a missionary. What does this have to do with missions? Well everything. After my time in language school, I will be transitioning to the mountains in Ecuador to work with the Highland Quichuas. I am not going there because of them. I’m going there because I love Jesus. Every day I have to put in the front of my mind that I am learning Spanish not for them or for me, but for Jesus. So with that, I’m off to study more irregular verbs.

Take off the training wheels

Do you remember when you first tried to ride a bike with no training wheels? I remember like it was yesterday. I remember when the training wheel first came off. I was balling. I was terrified I was going to fall off my bike and die. My father assured me he would hold on. He was stern. I had to do this. There was no backing out. This happened long before kids started wearing helmets and pads to learn how to ride a bike. Back in the good old days.

I was terrified as I started riding. My dad kept his word and held on… for about five seconds. As I was riding, I turned around and I had left him in the dust. I should have known. There was no way I was going to get him to run down the street. He lied but I was riding!

Speaking a new language is the same way. After being here a couple of weeks, I had some language. Enough to get a ride in a taxi and return home. While this may sound childish and it is, my address is: San Franciso de Dos Rios, 100 mts este iglesia catolica. 25 mts izquerda, casa aldo de izquerda color es café y crema. You don’t exactly put that into Google maps. There came a time when I needed to get a cab and give him my destination and then return home with my ridiculously long address. In order to speak Spanish sometimes you just have to... speak Spanish.

There are many similarities to our own spiritual walk. Probably what people have told me more than anything else relating to their personal walk with the Lord is that they don’t understand the Bible. Let me say two things before I give you the answer I give them. First, reading the Bible is important. God gave us creation, his Son, and a book. We need to look outside, believe in his Son, and read his book. Secondly, reading the Bible is not a substitute for knowing God. There are stronger believers with greater faith who cannot read and who don’t have the Bible in their language.

So back to my answer. How do you understand the Bible? You read it!

You read it fast, read it slow, read it early, and read it late. Read it in bed and at a desk. Read it so your life won’t be a mess.

Read it in sections and read them again. Just in case you don’t get it at first. You will get it once in it you’re immersed. 

Don’t be afraid of all of the pages, they have been there for ages! Let them become familiar to your fingers. Read them often to answer any question that lingers.

So by now my answer should be quite clear. If you can’t read just make sure you can hear. For in times past, one person would read and all would stand near.

Still today there are many who don’t read at all. Many of them live in the mountains and are not quite tall. They are the ones whom we will teach, so their people they will reach.

I hope you enjoyed Dr. Seuss inspired poem. Do not take your literacy for granted. God has given you a great gift. Would you pray for Katie and me as we embark on learning a new language? 

Blind Spots

The first two months here have been difficult to say the least. Katie spent a week in the hospital and still needs a couple more tests. We are in a new country, learning a new language, and meeting new people. Maybe one of the greatest challenges is being a parent during this whole process.

We have had ups and downs of language. At first, Hannah did not like her school. They only spoke to her in Spanish and she knew only English. She finally started catching on and has now surpassed us! Just this last weekend she was not being obedient at all. In order to get her to come I had to speak in Spanish, “Venga aqui!” When I told her to “come here” she came immediately.

It has been a little different as we navigate Costa Rican sicknesses. She had a virus. It was similar to viruses in the US but it was stronger and lasted longer. She had a fever for a week and a three day rash followed. She now has a lingering cough. Other kids have been sick with other things and I’m praying it passes without another trip to the doctor.

What has been most difficult here is my hidden blind spots. Well, that was being too positive. This has challenged my prayer life and my faith like nothing before. Over the past two months as we have went from one difficulty to another, I have prayed like the man in the Bible whose child needed to be healed by Jesus. Jesus told the man all things were possible for the one who believes. In a moment where the depths of his soul were peered into by the Lord, he prayed, “I believe, help my unbelief” (Mk 9:24).

I don’t know what it is but when someone you love is sick it is bad. But it seems when your child is sick it is the worst thing ever. My reference point for sicknesses in Costa Rica has been things at a week-long interval. It seems that with each day there is a new depth of my heart that is being exposed and revealed. When NASA released pictures form the Hubble telescope everyone (including myself) was amazed at seeing the deepest pictures of space. I feel like those pictures are a Polaroid compared to intense gaze of the Lord upon my heart. So I pray, “I believe, help my unbelief.”  

Has God failed?

Has God failed?

Hannah woke up this morning with a cough. Today, it was a little more pronounced than yesterday. So yet again, we are missing another day of school to keep her home. Katie is feeling much better so we are alternating during the day. What gets me about Hannah being sick is that Katie and I have prayed for her to be well and not get sick. She is sick. Has God failed?

In one sense, yes. God has failed. He just hasn’t failed as you may think of it. God has not failed to be good, righteous, just, loving, or sovereign. In other words, he has not stopped being God. But he has failed to be a get well genie for us.

Two years ago, John Piper said, “God is always doing 10,000 in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” Ouch! So Hannah is sick. I am not sure why she is sick. I would love her to never get sick, ever. What I don’t know is what God knows. He knows each virus and bacteria she will face in her life. He knows that for her to have a strong immune system later she has to have these little coughs and sicknesses. Sicknesses build immune system strength.

I’m staying at home first. We will probably take her to the doctor tomorrow. We will have extra tea parties. She will take an extra nap. I will continue to pray she gets well but in my prayers I will pray to God who is always good, always righteous, always, just, always loving, always sovereign, and has seen his own Son in far worse shape than my daughter with a cough. 

There is more than just Spanish being taught in our classes.

Our day is broken into four sections. The first part of my day consists of Spanish babbling. The class is Fonetica and the focus is on the vocalization of letters, words, and sentences. If you have ever heard someone speak Spanish, you should have noticed they do so very quickly, and that their mouth seems to barely move when they are rapidly moving from word to word and syllable to syllable. There is a reason for this, some words are combined due to the first or last letter in opposing words. While I finish my cup of coffee (and usually pour another one in class), I repeat the teacher in a group, and then we do it individually. No one in our group is from the Deep South or Texas so everyone does pretty well. The class isn’t as important for me but it is a good way to wake my mind up to Spanish plus the coffee is good!

The second class is all speaking. This class is great because I really learn by doing. In order for me to connect the grammar rules, I need to speak them in a sentence. Since there are only four of us, I get many opportunities to speak. Today in class, we were given card with verbs written on them and told to use them to ask a question to another student. Well my brain works different. It works much different. I looked at my verbs and immediately had two questions I wanted to ask but knew I couldn’t lead with them. I saved them for the end and tried to play nice. My last two questions were, “Why do you show your children your muscles?” My verb was mostrar meaning “to show” and it was all I could think of at the time. It was followed with several muscle poses by the teacher and students, we are all guys. It was perfect with several of us doing our best Arnold impersonation. It was great. The last question I had to use cortar meaning “to cut.” So I asked, “Quien corta el queso?” which means, “Who cut the cheese?” All the students laughed. The teacher started talking about the white cheese popular here in Costa Rica.  We explained that it was a phrase used in English with two meanings, a literal one and then it was used to talk about farting. He loved it. We followed this by several people making farting noises and using the question in English and Spanish. It was great to teach him something! Plus who doesn’t like doing a muscle pose and making fart noises in class? Well most women probably (hopefully) don’t but us guys, we always enjoy a good muscle pose and any noise that sounds like someone passing gas.

After a break, I go to Grammatica. Tuesdays and Thursdays there is chapel so break is filled with English worship and a sermon but then it all gets real when we sit down to learn grammar. Grammar is a tough class. There is more instruction and less talking. Learning the rules is no problem for me but I struggle putting it together in a class with eleven people. There are some people in class that have full conversations in Spanish. I’m not there. I’m not even close. Even though the class is difficult, this is my favorite teacher. She is excellent. She is animated and uses different teaching methods to help every student. While she may teach me everything I know about Spanish grammar, this week I learned something more important than grammar.

I looked at her resume. She used to teach in the University. She is the most educated at the school and has great credentials. This week on Tuesday, the chapel service was a QandA with the teachers. Now to be honest, I had no idea what any of them said. I did notice that my teacher cried when she was asked a question and I noticed several other students moved by the teachers’ responses. After asking my teacher to tell us what the questions were I learned more of what was said. There was one question that asked them why they taught at the school. All four of them said they taught at the school because they knew missionaries were needed in Latin America. They view their job as a ministry. While they get paid for what they do, they do it because they love it and because it has Kingdom impact. My teacher took a pay cut and a less prestigious position because she can have greater Kingdom impact teaching missionaries how to communicate in Spanish. That lesson is better than any rule for a preposition!

Now what if you viewed your job that way? What if you viewed your job as a ministry? You probably aren’t teaching a second language to missionaries but what if you viewed your job as a missionary? What if you set out for work tomorrow looking to make an impact in the Kingdom? When you are approached about a new job or promotion ask yourself, will I have a greater opportunity to impact the Kingdom of God? Live your life in such a way that the Kingdom of God pushes back the darkness.